Posted by May Ng • Sep 13, 2022
I was led to join NECF’s 40 Days of Fast & Prayer this year. Although I am aware that we should not be led entirely by our feelings, I do feel that I am in some form of ‘wilderness’ now – in a difficult season and being confronted with several challenges, and I find myself struggling to keep my head up. This has propelled me to seek God through fasting and prayer. After all, God did promise that we will seek Him and find Him when we seek Him with all our hearts, and He will be found by us (Jeremiah 29:13-14). Besides fasting and praying, there is also the commitment to read 10 chapters of the Bible a day, following the daily readings suggested by NECF. I found myself actually being excited as I look forward to what God has to speak to me every day.
Last Wednesday, on day 32 of the fast & prayer, God spoke to me through this verse Isaiah 43:18-19 Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. I felt like I was being awakened by a jolt of lightning. After some time of (what I thought to be) fervently seeking God, I felt God was talking to me directly! These verses struck a chord in me, for they addressed my constant ruminating about the past and how God is making a way for my future! The next day, I downloaded another Bible app, and the first verses being pushed to me on my phone were Isaiah 43:18-19. That very same night, I tuned in to the nightly prayer altar anchored by the Malaysian United Firewall, and the preacher shared these same verses! How good and faithful God is! It is as if God wanted to assure me that I heard Him loud and clear, and He was trying to reach out to me with these same verses under different circumstances.
I repented of the times I cried out to God, lamenting that He is spending too much time counting the hairs on my head (which should be easier for Him as time goes by), and not helping me in the areas that I am toiling in. For want of a better word, I was languishing. I saw no hope in my future, and I felt inadequate. I do not even feel ‘qualified’ to be used by God as an effective Christian. With time not being on my side, I was riddled with guilt, shame and condemnation from past mistakes and regrets. I was desperate for God to show some indication that He heard me and that some form of His help is on the way. God did show up, in His time. God is faithful. He sees, He hears, He speaks. And where the word of a king is, there is power. God knows me so well – He knows I forget easily, and hence, the gentle ‘bombardment’ of the same verses in close succession. God was trying to restore hope in me.
Pr Sara’s message over the weekend further illuminated the area of hope for me. God has used Pr Sara mightily in assuring me that He makes all things new. Jesus may not be physically here with us now, but He will come again to rule and reign as the Messiah King. It is going to be a glorious future for those who are called by Him! I believe God’s restoration is going to be better than before. The past over 30 days of fasting, praying and reading the Word is equipping me to have a better posture in the waiting. It is such a great blessing that I am on a journey to know Him better through His Word. Jesus is the Word made flesh, and if the Word never passes away, I am encouraged to dive daily into the Word each day to get to know my Messiah King more. The Word is rich in His wisdom, love and hope, and I would be doing a disservice to myself if I do not meditate on His Word. The hope of and in God is found in the providence of His Word.
On day 36 of this fast and prayer, God gave me this verse: Jeremiah 17:7 Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. He restores hope.
Hope may or may not come naturally to us, but, in order to have any hope at all, we must know God, the One Who created us all. Through Christ, I know I can have a confident expectation of good, that far exceeds any worldly hope.
As I continue to behold Him, I surrender to Him to make things anew. As I continue to rest in His love, I know I will be restored by His saving grace. The God Who sees me is faithful. Jesus gave His life for mine, and He is trustworthy of all my hope.
I pray for endurance to be the kind of steadfast Christian who will hope in God, no matter what.