Posted by Adeliyn Lim • Sep 27, 2022
The message in the sermon this weekend is something I had come to terms with some time ago as I have grappled with an unhealthy state of mind from time to time since I was young. I am thankful that as I grow older, the gaps in between occurrences are now measured in years, although when it occurs, that episode would potentially last for months.
The most recent occurrence was when I had my first child. There were many internal and external factors resulting in this episode. Without diving into the details, it took nearly three months for me to feel some semblance of joy from having my first baby. It was many months after getting back to a healthier state of mind. I remember when my baby was six weeks old, I was crying on the phone to my husband for him to promise that he will come home as soon as he can, fearing that he may no longer have a wife if he did not do so.
What helped me escape this misery were a few things:
- My husband’s understanding and love, and him working from home during the pandemic
- My cell group members who came (pre-pandemic) to help clean the house, make sure I was fed, hold my baby and pray for me and my little family
- Family and friends who made time for me
- Acknowledging that my mind was not entirely my own
- Having solace that even the Bible documents that prominent characters such as Job, Elijah, Solomon and Jeremiah had bad episodes in their lives
I had a lot of apprehension while pregnant with my second. However, I was amazed at how different the birth experience was with my second child. Even as my husband was not allowed to be present for the birth and subsequent hospital stay due to the rules during the pandemic, I was happy and joyful to hear the first cry and contact with my baby, unlike the despair when I had my first baby.
Through this miserable experience my takeaway was this, God was present in every moment. As much as the persistent whispers made living exhausting, there were oases of reprieve. Comfort and nourishment came when desolation was all I felt. I hope when you are going through something bad, you too will receive comfort and recognize that He walks with you, especially in that moment.
P.S.: If and when your mind is in a bad place, resist the temptation to keep only to yourself. Even if you cannot speak about it, find someone for company. They may not be able to understand, you may not be able to say a single word about it – but having a supportive person to speak to or do something with is far better than being alone with poisonous whispers.