Contributed by Darren Lim • Jul 25, 2023
Have you ever encountered strangers coming up and asking for handouts? Over the course of the past year, I have been experiencing it more and more with increasing frequency. Oftentimes, it is unexpected and I am forced to wrestle with the dilemma on whether to give or not to give. In that split second, multiple threads of thoughts course through my mind: Is it legitimate? Are there other ulterior motives? Could I be mugged? Am I doing more harm than good?
Most of the time I would choose to ignore and avoid eye contact. Sometimes, as the Spirit leads, I do give a token sum. Be it yay or nay, I am left always with a sense of unease that plaques my mind for the rest of the day. However, there was one particular incident which recently happened that continues to be vividly etched in my memory.
It was a dark and rainy evening… (as cheesy as this sounds, it really was pouring outside) and my eldest son L and I were headed to our car which was parked at the basement of a 3-story complex housing eateries, grocery stores and other convenience shops. It was new and had a typical rectangular design built to serve the needs of the local residences.
A lady in her mid 50s called out to us as we were midway down multiple flights of escalators. Seated on a bench within the narrow glass enclosure overlooking the car park, the dark-skinned lady (clearly non-Malaysian) called out with fairly fluent English: “Hello sir, can you help me?”. Over the years, I have been conditioned to tense up whenever someone addresses me as “sir”. What is normally a sign of respect usually never quite ends well.
She called again and motioned us to stop. My son and I stopped in our tracks some 8 paces away from her. As she was explaining her predicament, my eyes darted to the outside car park just to ensure that no one was outside waiting or approaching us. I was worried that this lady might be part of a syndicate planning to pounce on us when we least expect it. So far so good, the coast was clear with us facing the only glass door leading in or out. I gently pulled my son back slightly behind me when I realised he had taken a half step ahead of me before we were stopped dead in our tracks.
It took awhile and several back and forth questions to piece her story together. Apparently, her motorcycle broke down and she then took it to a nearby workshop. While assessing the damage, the workshop foreman gave her an estimated ballpark to replace some faulty parts. All that was standing between her and getting home was her coming up short of RM80. So she asked if she could borrow and promised to pay me back if I would just give her my number.
I ignored her request for my number but instead quickly fished through my wallet. I only had RM100 and gave it to her… all the while keeping one eye on the door and one hand on my son’s left shoulder to keep him behind me. She kept assuring me that she would return my money and insisted on getting my number to which I promptly refused. I told her to keep the money.
She thanked me profusely and maintained that she would donate the money to her church. She caught me off guard by asking if I was a Christian to which I replied yes. She started pronouncing blessings on the both of us and we promptly went down another flight of escalators. As we were approaching our car, L was puzzled and wanted to know what made me give the lady money. “How do you know she really needed the money Daddy?”, L asked me. I told him that I have no idea but that I sensed the Spirit leading me. I told L that if she was lying, then that is something she is answerable to God for but if she really was in need, then we have helped her get out of a difficult situation by giving her the benefit of the doubt. Someday, we may find ourselves in such a situation with our only hope being that somebody trusts us and cares enough to lend a helping hand. Later that evening, L related the whole incident to his Mom and even ended with him sharing the “moral of the story” like it was his idea all along.