Contributed by Adeline Ting • Mar 7, 2023
God and His timing. I am so in awe.
Just in my last CG meet, I was sharing about having this difficult ex-colleague and how we had this fallout, how it was a difficult period for me as I had to remain professional with her throughout, and how I celebrated with joy when she finally left the workplace! I consoled myself throughout this episode by telling myself that God must have growth lessons He wanted me to learn as He put this difficult person in my life. My CG Leader then quipped that I must have “graduated” from this lesson as this person is no longer in my life. I nodded in agreement and silently celebrated my moment of triumph.
And then came Saturday service, and the part on reconciliation hit me hard.
As I soaked the message in, there was this nagging voice in me that lamented if I had tried hard enough to reconcile with this ex-colleague of mine. This made me re-examine the whole episode all over again. I remembered the times that I struggled with the betrayal from her. It was a painful experience. And I had to remain professional with her in the workplace, as back then, neither of us seemed to be letting go nor heading out the door. We had students to deal with and shared laboratory space, so an even more reason to keep the peace. It was then that I knew I cannot do this on my own strength. And so, I surrendered this whole situation to God. I kept my eyes on God and asked Him to help me through this. And He did, in His own timing and in His own way. Slowly but surely, He made it bearable for me to co-exist with her in the workplace (for 9 years!), and I learnt to manage people differently. And in the end, she left on her own accord. Her leaving was the part that struck me now. I had not wished her farewell personally, and we did not make amends before she left. Hence, my lamentation. As I summarise the sermon summary, I wished so hard to put a tick next to “Extend Christ to all”, but it stared blankly back at me.
Again, God and His timing. I am so in awe.
To let this whole topic come full circle in just over two days has made me sit up and pay attention. Yes, it is easy for me to acknowledge that Christ is above all. And yes, I can raise my hands and proclaim He is ever worthy of exaltation and embrace. But I can see now what God’s message is to me personally. He wants me to work on extending Christ to all. While I can live a grateful and surrendered life, I struggle with forgiving and extending God’s love and grace to others. Especially those who have wronged or hurt us. God is clearly telling me something and showing me where I need to pray about and respond to. In all humility, I will obey and submit to His Lordship over my life.
I am not sure if I will ever cross paths with this ex-colleague of mine again, but I would not rule this out. Perhaps God is preparing me for this. God knows me better and I believe He is equipping me for a better reconciliation, one fine day. After all, why would He make me remember her and talk about this after all this while? I shall trust in God and His timing. Note to self – If I ever get to have a happy ending to this, I will be sure to share my testimony.
