Contributed by Wendy ML Tan • Feb 28, 2023
Last week, I had the privilege to attend the Dedication Service of the Breakthrough Drug Rehabilitation Centre (BDRC) at Bukit Tinggi). There, I heard testimonies from two individuals. I shall refer to them as Robert and Jude (not their real names).
Robert came from a poor family and a Christian home but he did not know Jesus personally then. Lacking care and support from his family, he turned to look for love in all the wrong places. Eventually, he dabbled in drugs. He lost his family, friends and dignity. He tried to commit suicide a few times. Every attempt failed. Finally, he sought help and was introduced to BDRC. After two years, he moved from being a student to be a helper at the centre. He now testifies of God’s presence in his life. To Robert, the most satisfying love can only be found in Jesus. His favourite verse is John 3:16.
Jude came from a Taoist background. Even though his family provided him with care and love, he was also mixing and bonding with a different ‘family’ which led him to drugs, theft and lies. Jude became a Christian in his late teens because he had liked a girl but their relationship soon fizzled out. His faith in God also dwindled away. During his college years, he stopped drugs for a while as he felt that they were not sustainable. For a while, his grades improved but he developed a new addiction – alcohol, which led him back to drugs. Downhill, he lost his family’s trust and was wrongly blamed in a major family fallout. He too contemplated suicide. One day, the police arrested him. When his mother confronted him, Jude confessed to his drug addiction. She enrolled him into BDRC. Within 3 months, he fell for Jesus’ love, grace and hope. 14 months on, he no longer desires drugs.
My heart leaped in thanksgiving when I heard the testimonies. To God be the glory.
What about me? What is my story? Well, I have known about Jesus and the Gospel since my childhood days. After my eldest brother passed away 40 years ago, my parents sent me to the weekly Sunday School. Over the years, I have had people approaching me to share Christ with me, with tracts or just straight-on verbal conversations. Maybe I didn’t appear Christian enough. I joined the annual Christmas carolings, participated in Easter plays for Christian Fellowships. I was baptised in my 20s because my family thought that it was time for me to do so.
But it was also in my 20s that I made a huge mistake in my life. My Christian walk was thrown off the tracks and I found myself disappearing from the church scene. I despised being in my previous church because I felt that the people had failed to understand me. Years went by and my parents just let me do whatever I wanted, dated whoever I chose. I didn’t listen to them anyway when they disapproved.
One of the hardest hits in my life was when my Pa passed away. Grief-stricken, I grew angry at a God who was already a distant entity. Add in an ex-boyfriend who suffered multiple relapses of Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia (CML) in my already sad life. Where was God in all of this? I am sure He was at work somewhere. Otherwise, why would I be the only one among my siblings who developed an allergic reaction towards alcohol? Plus, the haze used to be so bad that I had to stop smoking.
Fast forward to today, I imagine how my Christian growth chart would look like. It would have early spikes and a flatline for two decades before a gradual upward trend again. Since I surrendered and made a fresh commitment in my Christian walk with God in 2016, I believe that God has changed me. I know because I would never have thought about what it means to have a calling in my life. I would never have imagined that I would be studying at a seminary. I would never have asked God for opportunities to share the gospel with strangers. I would never have understood what it is to be joyful to see a friend or CG member grow spiritually. I would never have received that chance to hear God audibly. I would never have enjoyed all my chats with God. I would never have laughed when He slammed me with a snowball in one of His visions. I would never have voluntarily served at the Info Counter all these years. I would never have produced Ignite pieces such as this because I had once told myself that I would never want to write like my Pa did.
God changed me and I know He is still moulding me to be more and more like Him. There is still so much to learn as I traverse this life. Just this past week, God revealed to me hidden fears that I had unknowingly harboured in my heart since the last breakup. If He had revealed them to me there and then, I may not have been able to handle it as well as I do now. God sure knows me much more than I do myself.
Father, to You I yield my life. Amen.