Contributed by Abbey Thangiah • Feb 14, 2023
I like connecting with people. As much as I like to be alone and have my me time, I think I like connecting with people too; especially people from around the world. I am sad when the world is at war. Many lives are lost on a global level. Even in family, there is a version of mini family wars going on. Many relationships are severed due to reasons that can sound so silly when you share it with others.
Recently, I have had a chance to connect with a few couples who are celebrating Chinese New Year by themselves. During CNY eve, I asked a couple from Singapore visiting KL, “Where are you having dinner?” They replied, “Oh, we had a late lunch and we are full.” I was surprised by their reply. I probed further, “ Aren’t you having your big CNY dinner with your family?” They were surprised and told me that they are closer to their family in Penang. For the first time in many years, I actually met someone who was indifferent about family dinners. I don’t know who irritated who. I don’t know what wrong words might have been said. Relationships are so fragile nowadays. One minor confrontation and we separate and go our own ways.
My life flashed by where there were significant events in my life that have caused some form of separation. My family meals are during Christmas time. I come from a family where my father has 10 siblings and my mother has 6. This totals to a minimum of 15 uncles, 15 aunts, about 45 cousins and another 20+ nephews and nieces. Like a balloon this family of mine just keeps growing to the point that it is difficult to meet all of them in one place. It is much easier and convenient to mind our own businesses.
One good habit my grandparents left behind is to always bring the family together during Christmas. This habit stuck for decades until this day. I mean, we might have our differences but somehow this habit stuck. When carollers come to our home, my mother makes it a point to host dinner for the carollers and we try to bring the family together. Sometimes, my uncles and aunts take turns hosting lunches and dinners. No matter how much I like to irritate my family and vice versa, I feel these meals always remind me that I am not alone and am a piece of a puzzle in a bigger picture.
As the sermon reminded us, we might not be perfect but this shouldn’t stop us from coming together. I somehow feel sorry for the Singaporean couple I met. I cannot imagine what has caused them to celebrate CNY to the point that they are ignorant of the epic CNY reunion dinners I feel jealous about. People are so sufficient nowadays that if there is a family tension, they withdraw to their nucleus and stay there to avoid issues.
I pray that as we will connect with family and friends this CNY season, we have a thick skin to whatever is said during these dinners and surrender our frustrations to God. Let us continue to gather with the family God has created for us to be a part of.
