Contributed by Darren Lim • Oct 14, 2025
Some years back, I shared about how my relationship with my earthly father shaped the way I approach my Heavenly Father. Growing up with a typical Asian dad – quiet, stern and sparing with affection – I always knew he loved me but love was expressed more in duty rather than in words. Now in adulthood, our conversations would often run dry within the first 5 minutes. The silence between us became something we both learned to accept even if it felt a little awkward.
I thought I had moved past that. Over time, I grew more comfortable in opening up to God, my father and the people around me. I started sharing more about life, family and work. I began to see God not as a distant, quiet authoritative figure but a loving and compassionate Father who filled every gap my earthly father couldn’t.
But recently, I realized that some of the old patterns haven’t fully left me. In fact, they have quietly crept into the way I relate to my own children. With my daughter, there is a softness that naturally comes through. But with my sons, I noticed that same reservedness, strictness and impatience that marked my upbringing. I have become the father of few words. The Lord opened my eyes to see that if we continue down this path, we may one day find ourselves in the same awkward silence that I know all too well. It is not too late. I pray daily for my children that through Jesus, they will come to know the deep, unconditional love of the Father. And even more so, I pray for myself that the Holy Spirit will soften my heart to show more patience and fill my mouth with words of kindness and affection.