Contributed by Wendy ML Tan • Jul 11, 2023
Growing up, I marvelled at how my younger cousins would get along so well with my late grandmother, walking in and out of her room, whenever it pleases them. I watched as her great-granddaughter (my niece) ran her two-year old fingers through the old lady’s face. I wouldn’t have dared to do the same thing, at any age. I hardly conversed with her because speaking Cantonese, my mama’s mother tongue, is unnatural to me. Plus, she once tried to trick me into eating sour oranges. Maybe she was trying to humour me but I couldn’t get past her serious looking-face.
I realised from early on that my poor grasp of various Chinese dialects was the main barrier between me and the older generation. It wasn’t guilt and shame that set us apart. It was sheer embarrassment or the potential of it. Of course, it led to a greater shyness within me to avoid older folks all together, whenever possible.
Reflecting back on the years that have gone by. I wonder about what changed me. These days, I would approach my neighbours who are much older than me. I no longer have to hide behind my friends when they talk to their parents or relatives, or even friendly strangers. Last year, as my friend and I were about to board the ETS train to Bukit Mertajam, we were approached by an older couple who were headed to Penang island as well. Our seemingly short “hi-and-bye” situation that morning led to an on-going friendship on Whatsapp today. I tell myself that on my next solo trip to Penang, I will make it a point to visit them.
Ah yes, I inevitably had to communicate with people from all ages, and all walks of life, during the years when I served as a volunteer at the Information / Registration Counter in Dream Centre, every other fortnight before and after Saturday’s Celebrations. There were little problems with the people from my age group or the Next-Gen generation, but I had to learn to slow down and to be patient with the older generation, especially when I had to help them fill in the forms for Equip classes or any other events. Their grateful smiles and gestures allowed me to feel comfortable interacting with them. Soon, there were some familiar faces, and names.
I am sure, it is the working of the Holy Spirit in my life that is moulding me to be more likeable as well. I still struggle speaking in Cantonese sometimes, but at least I think I can get my message across when I have to. A smile always works. Extending a helping hand too. Just as I have been blessed by the younger ones, I too am continually learning to bless the older ones too. While I may still hesitate, God prompts. “Fetch the elderly lady to your campus as she is also attending the Intentional Disciple-Making Conference (IDMC) next week.” God knew I would have no excuse to give because she stays just 5 rows from my place. Well, I finally took the courage to text her a few days ago, and the conversation over Whatsapp was simply pleasing and easy. I look forward now to Wednesday, curious to see who this lady is.
Being in an intergenerational Cell Group and having to handle a diverse group of cell members probably changed me too, but would I trade this bunch of people for another? Probably not, including the one person that I find it hard to love. All of us have gone through many ups and downs in life, alone and together. I have lost count of most of my cell members’ ages too, though I know they range from early 30s to late 50s. Just last Friday, the icebreaker showed us how diverse we can be, but we had so much fun and laughter. That no matter how similar and different we are, we are stronger together, united as one in the body of Christ.
For all that God is to me. For all that Christ has done and still doing for me, and my Cell Group, and my church, I give thanks to Him. To Him be all glory forever, and ever. Amen.