Contributed by Darren Lim • Aug 4, 2026

Back when personal web authentication still was the thing, the security question “Who is your childhood best friend?” would always bring flashes of the past. Memories of my childhood best friend I have not seen for more than 18 years would come flooding back.

This friend was really dear to me from secondary school. We were always seen together, inseparable from each other. We spent hours after school talking about everything under the sun. We were kindred spirits who understood one another. Even on weekends, you would see us together: playing basketball, watching movies or cycling together as we gallivanted around the neighbourhood.

Our friendship continued through college and university, even though we took  different study paths. We still made time to keep in touch and fill each other in on life though it may not be as constant as before. Then his health took a turn for the worse. He developed acute lower back pain that led him into despair and depression. I remember trying every possible way to pull him out of his downward spiral. I urged him (at times forcefully) to come for walks when I visited his home. I was convinced that a change of scenery would do some good. But his condition never improved and he became increasingly reclusive. No more outdoor, no more hang outs. Our contacts were limited to just phone calls.

Then one day he picked up my phone and told me that this would be the last time we spoke. He told me that while he understood my good intentions, it was better for the both of us if we never ever meet or speak again. His rejection cut me deeply. For a time, I kept reaching out by calling him and contacting his parents but he refused to meet or speak. Other friends accused me of being cold for abandoning him at his lowest. They did not understand why I had not tried harder or done more.

Looking back, I realise how my actions may have felt like pity and sympathy. Two  things he did not need then. I also recognize my own pride. I was wounded by rejection and frustrated for being misunderstood. Even after all these years, I have not plucked up the courage to call and re-connect. I wouldn’t even know how to begin! Yet I have assurance in my heart that God cares. He has a good plan for me and He has one for my friend. It isn’t about what I can or should do by my own strength. It is about whether I will lift him to the Lord in prayer.

Our God is sovereign. Just as Jesus called His disciples friends (“I have called you friends.” John 15:15), He knows what we need. Jesus meets us in whatever season we are in. He certainly can and has done so with my friend. Only one thing is necessary and that is to be with Him. I earnestly pray that Jesus will be the friend to my dear friend that I never was or could never be. One day, who knows, I may just pluck up the courage to drive over and check-in with my dear friend.