Contributed by Wendy ML Tan • Oct 27, 2026

I vaguely remember an incident about 30 years ago. I was hanging out with my university friends and there was loud chattering and laughter all around. Then, out of nowhere a particular student walked in and approached our group. There was an immediate hush and everyone left the circle and went their own way. I, too, decided to move aside. No one likes this person. She was pompous and snobbish. I don’t even remember her name.

Thankfully, those friends of mine would still make me feel part of the group. When I shared with some of them about my autism diagnosis, I remember one of them texting me, “We always knew you were different but it never bothered us. You were not weird.”

The last two days, I thought about how different I am from the general public and what would account for being ‘weird’ in their eyes. I am sure that in one way or another, I would have made people feel uncomfortable, or impatient, or annoyed with me. It is possible because people have said it to my face before, that they were offended by what I’ve done, or that I have been rude towards them.

Well, on my part, I have a certain distaste for people who are different from me too. Like the guy who hogs the last pieces of meat from the plate without asking if anyone around the table would like to have some more. Or the measly man who would count every penny in his hand. Or the manager who couldn’t differentiate the different hues of orange and insisted he was seeing right. Or the girl who laughs hysterically as though she owned the room. Or the nosy lady who tries to pry for information just for the sake of sharing juicy gossip with her cliques. Or the many who wouldn’t return a smile as you pass them by, in church.

All but one of the people I just described are Christians. The odd one out is a relative who has long passed away.

My point is, people’s habits and behaviours may not have changed since their conversion, but they are still people created in the image of God, and loved by God. We have to look beyond the obvious, and see what’s beneath.

My uncle counted every penny because he was born in an era when my grandparents were very poor, and him being the eldest, he had to be doubly mindful of what the family could afford. Decades passed and his own children had become successful in their careers, and yet, he was still as thrifty as he was in his younger days. Was he beyond rescue? He wasn’t but we missed the opportunity to share the Gospel with him. We didn’t know how to approach him, or to tell him that we have a God who will provide us with all that we need.

A tension in my heart is how we view the people in church as compared to similar people outside the doors of the church. Do we really shine for Jesus out there and every day? And what is it that is stopping us from reaching out and sharing the Gospel with people?

Are our answers really about them, or about us?